Last Week in April

TGT mast head-APR 2016

It’s been a few weeks since my last goal posting.  My reflections of that last one is that I was growing tired of setting goals every week and needed some time away from the process.

Even goal-setting can become tedious at times, but I’m back with three teeny, tiny goals today and ready to begin again.


1  Set a time for meeting with new spiritual director.

2  Finish reading another chapter of  The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and write another review.

3  Finish up PR for sale at church, getting signs updated and posted in the community.

Every May we have a huge church sale. All proceeds from the sale benefit our Benevolence Ministry. We use that money to help struggling individuals in our community all year long. We’ve done some great work with those funds in previous years.  We will do great things with it again this year.  I love this sale. It’s so much fun!  I hate rummage sale-ing, so its weird that I love this event as much as I do, but I think I love it so much because of all the good it does.

It feels good to do good!

Do you ever tire of setting goals?  What teeny, tiny thing have you been putting off, but feel like you could tackle it this week?




ThreeGoals-AlternativeHappy Thursday! 

It’s time to pony up to the blog and report on my three teeny, tiny goals this week.

What I proposed to do this week was eat oatmeal for breakfast every morning, do nine minutes of exercise first thing each morning and spend ten minutes researching and/or creating an action plan for eating that would help me reduce my caloric intake to 1500 calories per day before the end of 2015.

How I did…

Goal No. 1 Pretty well.  I ate oatmeal for breakfast 6 out of the 7 days I set out to do so this week, with one day eating off plan.  I can’t even remember what was happening that morning, but I am giving myself an atta-boy for staying true to my goals even while vacationing with my ladies.  While there was lots of yummy stuff to eat for breakfast while we were away, I made sure to put oatmeal down my pie hole, because I said I would.

Yay–feeling good about Goal No. 1.

Goal No. 2 Pretty well.  I did my 9 minutes every morning, save one.  That morning I did exercise, but not for the full 9 minutes.  I hurt that morning and I had the wee ones at our house.  I had to reserve my strength for later in the day, when we visited Mt. Pisgah State Park and enjoyed the festivities there. At lunch time that day we laughed so hard that J could barely catch his breath.  He loves to enjoy life.  What a blessing to have him near for a few days.  He and A make me smile when thinking of them, let alone spending time with them.

I also walked several days while on vacation, and moved a lot more than usual.

Goal No. 3 was a near FAIL.  I only researched recipes for two days out of this week, instead of the every day schedule I was shooting for.  I was on vacation part of the week, though, so that definitely affected my goal.  I could not get my notebook to work while on the road, so while I had to lug it with me everywhere I went, I could not get it to connect when I wanted it to.  I am replacing that albatross soon!

I will say I am finding myself a tad bit resistant to doing what is necessary to make Goal No. 3 a sustaining habit.  Why?

I’m frustrated with myself that I can’t easily achieve this goal, but I’m not giving up, and I’m not beating myself up over my results this week. No way!  I will double down and tweak this goal to make it even teeny, tinier.  Maybe that will work. We’ll see.

My Three Teeny, Tiny goals for this week will be as follows:

1. I will again exercise for 9 minutes each morning before doing anything else.

2. I will eat oatmeal for breakfast this week.

3. I will figure out why I am resistant when it comes to having a better plan in place for dinner time.

This week I am on the hunt for identifiable distractions, hindrances, and road blocks to attaining this goal.  I will review with someone what I discover and ask them to give me their opinion on how I can better adapt myself to this goal of eating 1500 calories per day before the end of the year.

Some observations I am making as I go along the way:

I can feel my leg muscles toning as I am doing my morning exercises.  It’s such a good feeling to realize that this teeny, tiny amount of time spent stretching and moving each day is making a difference in my body.  Even small changes add up over time!

As I work to achieve my goals each week, I can feel habits being formed.  I’m experiencing more compelling reasons to press forward with my goals, and I’m feeling less antsy about when I will finally be able to say I have developed a life long habit with any particular behavior.

I’m feeling more empowered in my personal life, and therefore, more willing to put in the time and effort it takes to see habits develop.

I can see change occurring, and that inspires me to keep at it and do even more to get healthy and stay healthy, one day at a time.

I am beginning to once again call SATISFACTION my close friend and neighbor!

What teeny, tiny thing have you done recently that made all the difference in your life or the life of another?  How have you celebrated victories over complacency in the past?

Old Wounds Dealt With

000woundsI will not get so bogged down in dealing with old wounds that I forget about new growth.   –Courage to Change

I read this quote over the weekend and could not stop thinking about it.

I’ve allowed myself to get bogged down lately, dealing with the wounds I inflicted on myself during my years of food abuse.  I’ve been fixating on the scars those wounds have left on my body and my soul.  I’ve been tired.  I’ve been frustrated.  I’ve been wondering how to escape the funk, without losing my mind.  Today, I feel better and have been reminded of the source of my sanity–my God.

God found me when I was without passion, without parent, without plan, and without partner.  Since that time I have found all these and more.

God is the face of hope for me.

I try not to share too much about my faith here, because this is the place where I share about my fat, and while that involves my faith, it also involves my fellows, my food, my failings, and those changes to “the plan” I make over time.

That’s a lot to write about.

Sometimes I think its grit alone that keeps me moving forward, but it’s not.

Other times I think it’s habit, but it’s not.

What keeps me encouraged on the tough days is faith, hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love.

I believe with all my heart that God can restore what the locust have eaten, which is why I keep hoping, keep striving, and keep chasing the kind of change that matters most to me–that change that will eventually make me a different person.

What one change have you made that made all the difference in your life? 

Bed Buddies, No More

When food is no longer your friend, what do you do? Do you still hang out together? Do you still meet each other at the mall? Do you still hit all the county fairs together, go to the movies together on the weekends, or share the holidays? Are you still BED BUDDIES? Do you still pine for one another’s company, to the exclusion of human beings, or do you finally muster the courage to say good-bye, cut the tie that binds (or bound) and move on?

I’ve had a few ugly break-ups in my day. I’ve had some geographical disturbances that caused the death of friendships.  I’ve also had a few relationships that fizzled out and eventually died where no one was at fault. You know, the kind of natural breaks I’m talking about, where people who once worked, schooled, or exercised together have moved on to other jobs, college, or gyms across town. SOME OF THOSE PARTINGS WERE SAD, but a lot of them were predictable. People grow and change, and one day you find that you just don’t have the same connection with that other person you once enjoyed. It happens. It’s a part of life. You move on, but hopefully with some fond memories that stay with you for the rest of your life.

Even when the break up is bad, I try to remember the good times I’ve had with my ex’s–for there were good times, too.  As I’m working through this parting though, leaving my best friend, food, behind, I’m finding it UNWISE TO GLANCE BACK or ponder the memories. The reason for this is that the defining factor in my relationship with food has always been dysfunction.  I ate because I was lonely, bored, angry, threatened, sad, happy, frightened, challenged…

In other words, I maintained a destructive relationship with food that was based first and foremost on emotion. That, and a deep-seated need to MASK TRUE FEELINGS and avoid life by hooking up with a friend my peers wouldn’t approve.  We met secretly many times, but other always knew.  All they had to do was look at me, it was written all over my body.

Like a meth head who’s fled the streets and is hold up in a rehab somewhere, I’ve TAKEN ACTION to rid myself of a junk food dependency, and I’m feeling good about that.  Can I stay clean and disconnected to the source of my sugar addiction?  I hope so.  I really want this friendship to end.  It may be painful, but it’s time.  I may miss my buddy, but I’ll be better off.

How do you find the courage to walk away from a relationship that just isn’t working for you anymore?  What advice do you give for beginning again?