Give It a Rest!

old womn

“Options are important,” she said. “Without them we’d all feel like caged animals looking for a way out, but never finding one.”

Nan shrugged. “I guess so. I mean, I can see what you’re saying, but I’m not sure it’s relevant to my situation.”

“Not relevant?” she answered. “How so? He’s putting up fences, locking you in, with no choices at all. How is that not relevant?”

“I don’t see what Lloyd is doing as restrictive,” Nan countered. “I see it as loving. He knows that I have a problem with decision-making and that given enough time, I can make any mole hill into a mountain of complications. He’s being loving by narrowing my scope.”

“You see that as loving?” Vivian said. “I see that as being controlling and not helping you work your way through the maze that is your indecision. Why can’t he explore some options with you, look at all the alternative, and then help you figure out which of them is the right one for you? Why can’t he do that?”

“It’s pizza and wine, Viv,” she answered. “Pizza and wine, nothing more. Sheesh, can you please give it a rest!”

 

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Stuff, Be Gone!

000space minimalists-dont-do

I’VE EMBARKED UPON AN ADVENTURE IN MINIMALISM!

Starting two weeks ago, I have begun the process of culling from the house on the hill anything that is not functional, does not make our lives easier, or is not a symbol of joy in our home.

Granted, I’m beginning with my own “sickness”, but Mr has caught my fever already. He went through his clothes drawers and closet space and donated several pairs of jeans to the cause; perfectly good shorts, but items he has never or rarely worn.  Woohoo!

MY SUPER POWER: INDECISION

I made a discovery of the weekend.  I found out that part of my reason for getting jammed up in life may be due to the fact that I have wayyyy too many choices with regards to almost every aspect of my life.

Too many dishes to store.

Too many socks in my drawer.

Too many knick, and knacks, and things.

Too many trappings and traps!

Too many!!!

What was suggested to me is that having all this stuff in my life makes it hard for me to choose which stuff I want to use and which stuff I don’t. and that dynamic creates a cloud of indecision that hangs over my head, threatening, threatening, threatening to turn into a nasty thunder storm with lightning bursts at any moment.

It makes me fearful…of what will happen when the next shoe drops. Anxious. Weak!

Why, weak?

Because I cannot make up my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate that about me, but I think there’s hope on the horizon. Already, I’m feeling better about my living space and my ability to decide what I want to eat, wear, clean, and complete with each passing day.

I may even get that chair done I started last summer once the junk is cleared away.

Maybe!

DO YOU WANT A LIFE THAT IS BETTER, BALANCED, AND JOYFUL?

I want a life that is better, balanced, and joyful, and I think I might be able to have it once I get rid of all the dead weight surrounding me.  I’m at least willing to try.

I have five boxes of gently used toys, books, blankets, and shoes sitting in my  living room, ready to go to Good Will, and that, after I already packed up four garbage bags and donated them last week.  I feel good about this new adventure and I’m ready to share it with you, my bloggin’ buddies.

Stay tuned to see how I make out with this new CHOICE in life.

About this, I am not undecided!  Not in the least!!

Have you ever considered living a minimalist lifestyle?  What is your super power?

Driving Aimlessly

One thing that I still struggle with is indecision.

Should I, or shouldn’t I?

Indecision has the power to make me chase after my own tail, wondering what is the right thing to do?  It can fuel fears in me; feelings of insecurity, or imagined threat.  I’ve seen indecision manifest itself in me through anxiety, pleas for assurance from others, and excess eating.  Sometimes, however, indecision sends me in another direction completely.  Here’s an example of what I mean by that.

Recently, when I read about another bloggers struggle with drive through eating I was reminded of all those times when I was learning to confront my sugar addiction and food obsession (and girth).  Crazy as this will sound, I spent my entire lunch hour driving around town, many days, scoping out the best fast food joints and buying nothing.  

Seriously, I did this many times, and always went back to work after an hour of driving around feeling hungry, unsatisfied, and frustrated with my inability to make a decision.

What is the world was that about?

Now, after many years of practicing restraint with food, I think I know that it was fear of eating too many calories that drove this behavior.  And perfectionist tendencies (operating in me even though all sense would suggest I am not, nor have I ever been, perfect).

Fear and Perfectionism–is this ringing bells for anyone but me?

I think this is why I did these things.

I think.

The truth is that I believe that a lot of my food insanity–which I suffered through for years–has dissipated.  I still do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome, but usually not with food.

With other things.

Sometimes.

Thankfully I don’t feel the need to repeat the endless, aimless driving behavior any more.  I’ve learned to accept that I’m not perfect and making bad choices is better than making no choice.  At least I’m moving forward and choosing something.

As I am writing this post, I’m wondering: Is it possible that I am the only one who has ever acted this way?

Maybe I am.

I could be.

If I am, then so be it.  Doing something this abnormal taught me a lesson about how crazy I could be when handling food, or not handling it.

When I woke up.

After I had quit the insanity or constant eating.

The behavior got bad enough that it taught me how to be more decisive.

I’m glad I don’t drive aimlessly looking for the perfect food on my lunch hour anymore.  Indecision still has the power to take me places I don’t want to go, but not with food.

I’m learning.

Slowly, but surely.

Some days I eat what I have gotten while out for lunch and I am unsatisfied.  At those times I tell myself, “Self, there will always be another lunch.  Don’t sweat it, this one wasn’t great, but the next one will be.”  That’s called progress, people, and I’m glad for it!

What are your thoughts on aimless driving, fast foods, and perfectionism? Did you ever have a problem with indecision that ended up in you eating way more than you would have, had you just had the burger and fries?