Lost My Journal

000lost and found

This week I had a scare. I lost my food journal for a few days.

Super Scary!!


A.What if someone finds my journal before me? I have personal reflections in there about my food and eating.

B. What if I don’t find it before I have to report my food for the week?  What then?

C. Is it okay to feel a lil insecure without my food journal, cuz, yeah, I have come to rely on it for tracking my foods.

D. What if I don’t find it again? What then? I have personal observations about food and eating in there.

Yes, I worried twice about never finding my food journal again.


This week has been a stressful one for me. Well, really, for everyone in my office. Big changes are underway and they affect us all.  How big changes work themselves out in the life of a compulsive and emotional eater can be ugly.  Stress means it becomes one zillion times harder to stay the course with good eating, appropriate amounts of sleep, and the maintenance of a positive outlook/attitude.  I will confess to having reached out to a few others yesterday, the most stressful day so far, and having asked them to remember me in prayer.


Part of the purpose for me in creating this blog was to make sure I remember on a daily basis that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE, no matter where I find myself along my faith journey to healthy.  As long as I remain open to it, CHANGE is POSSIBLE!!!!


Interestingly, this morning’s meditations included a line that said something like this:  God is not limited by our lack of imagination.  I love that!  I often lack imagination with regards to my own abilities/progress/sensitivities to others, and my feelings about my abilities. That being the case, day after day I try to remind myself that the universe is a big place, stuff happens to all of us, I am not helpless (even when I am powerless), and I do have options.  Meditation quiets me long enough to recall that I’m not alone in this changing process, and that at any time I can choose to have a different perspective on an issue I face.  I have tons of wisdom at my finger tips–all I need to do is open up to it.  Yeah!

All this to say:

I’m glad I found my food journal.

I’m glad it is not lost forever.

I’m glad no one else got hold of it while it was gone.

I hope it never disappears on me again!

Change is possible–I just have to want it, to find it!!!

Have you ever lost something valuable to you? What was it?


After Thanksgiving Thankfulness

I didn’t gain any weight during the Thanksgiving Holiday!

In fact, I came out of the holiday weighing exactly what I did going into it, and this morning I weighed less.

Woohoo! This is great news for a recovering COE!

How did I do it? 

I measured everything I ate.

I made sure I invested myself in other people.

I kept up with my 30 in 30 exercise regimen.

I burned added calories by playing with babes on the living room floor at my brother’s house.

I tried a new technique when making pie, but I also made a choice to forego one particular favorite food of mine–a fav filled with sugar.  I can honestly say that I didn’t miss it, although I thought I would, and my blood sugar wasn’t sent into the stratosphere by partaking of it.  Plus, there were no leftovers of forbidden fruits.

I thought I would share with you a few pics from my Thanksgiving Day celebration.

A picture of the pie–it really did turn out great!





Don’t you love those fox salt and pepper shakers? So cute




My younger son likes apple crumb topping on his pie, while my hubs likes as much flaky crust as he can get with his.  I decided to shoot for both, and used a dish towel set on a slice of tin foil, covered with two pot holders to weigh the pie down on the top as it cooled.  For those of you who like to cut corners by folding your dough in, rustic-style, this method prevented the top crust from cooling high above the filling, a no-no in my play book.  The pie turned out nicely, and I was very excited about that–probably more than pie crust warrants, truth be told. 😉

I also wanted to share with you a picture of me and my love. I call this Winter Blush. DSC_1850

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving where you are, that you didn’t gain ten pounds after the dinner meal, that you had a lil bit of snow to play in after eating, and if you don’t celebrate the holiday, that you were able to celebrate a personally happy and healthy Thursday!  Mine was blessed beyond belief.

Thank you, Lord.  Change is possible!



Four Things I’ve Discovered



This morning my hair looked good.  That might seem like small potatoes to some, but it was the beginning of a good day for this gal. What does it have to do with food or health, or even fitness?  Not much, except that I have noticed that on the days when I wake up feeling good, I seem to have more motivation to eat right.

It appears that being in a good mood, even for wildly speculative reasons results in stronger will-power, a better disposition toward food, and an increased desire to move.

Who knew.

Today being Friday, I thought I would post some random observations I’ve made this week. 

1.  Journaling my food this week, has revealed weak spots in my selection process.  I know I have a problem with portion size, and I’m working on that, but this is different.  I’ve found a few spots in my journal where I had heavier than necessary carb loads at every meal in the day.  I’m working to trim that a bit. 

2.  I’ve realized that recording my food in a food journal helps me understand the emotions that kick in when I’m eating, and the shift in energy levels throughout the day.  This has been helpful in tracking times when low blood sugar makes the craving to eat more prominent.  If I can remember to eat before I feel deprived, I think I’ll do better.

3.  I’ve been consciously aware of what drives the urge to take second helpings, this week.  I think I need to stop serving meals family style, and start asking everyone to fix plates at the sideboard/countertop. This way, I won’t have to stare down bowls or plates full of extras that are only inches away from my compulsive fingers.  I often eat with my eyes first, and reach for more when the amount I have already eaten is sufficient. 

4.  I have been reminded again that the food on my husband’s plate is much smaller than that on my plate at mealtime.  I make healthier choices with food, but he eats smaller amounts.  He is by far the slimmer of the two of us, which means either 1.  His metabolism is roaring, while mine purrs along, or 2. Cheap hotdogs really do make a better protein source than black beans.  Which one do you think the more likely?

The weekend is ahead, when I’ll be able to do all the research catch up on the blogs I didn’t get a chance to read this week.  Reading what others are doing with food keeps me encouraged to continue with my own work.  I’m planning to tweek my menu a little bit this coming week, to see if changing things up will stimulate the scale to move off this insane plateau I’ve been on lately.  I’ll report on those changes next week. 

Food Coach Failure


I went to my first meeting with food journal consultant/support person/coach last night and was a tad disappointed. I don’t know what I was expecting. Well, maybe I do. I was expecting to work through my food journal with another person, looking for inconsistencies, spotting missed opportunities, hearing suggestions for improved vigilance, and gaining assistance to guide me in my decisions about food going forward. I got none of that. At least not nearly what I had hoped for and sought in reaching out.

Where do I go from here?

I left my meeting feeling like it is “on me” to get this food thing figured out. I guess that’s appropriate, for it is me I’m trying to change and change comes from effort. But it also comes of belief, and work, and guidance. It’s the guidance part I’m struggling with right now.

I read great posts by other bloggers and I say, yes, I can do that. I do it, and I feel better.  I make more progress by doing what they suggest, but reading is not all there is to health, right?

I need connection, and accountability, and support that has skin on.

I’m not sure where I go from here. I had committed to six weeks of weekly meetings in order to find guidance with my food journal and plan. I didn’t get that last night. Will I get it in the week’s to come? I don’t know.

I know I have to stay the course and fulfill my end of the agreement, and I realize that there is something to be gained in every meeting I have with another, no matter how little discussion goes on regarding my food. It’s not all about me all the time, I have learned this while wrestling with my food obsessions. Sometimes God wants me to serve others, and in so doing my reward comes.

Speaking of rewards, I’m reading Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, which explains how to set up patterns of behavior that assist in developing good habits. The author points out the necessity to provide a cue, a routine, and a reward in order to develop strong habits.

Thinking about this food journaling, I see that I had the cue–an actual journal that I have reminded myself exists to write down what I eat. I have the routine in the works–I’m journaling at least three times each day, sometimes more. Last night I was seeking the reward–recognition for what I’d done and the external validation that it was good and helpful. The reward didn’t come. If I want this food journaling to become a healthy habit, I need to find the reward that will come on a consistent basis. Without the reward, I just end up frustrated and am not encouraged to continue laying out the cue and following the routine.

If you have any thoughts on what I could use as a reward (and believe me when I say just slapping myself on the back and saying “atta girl” won’t work), then please leave a comment on this post.

I am seeking new ways to escape old, destructive habits and build new ones that will take me where I want to go.

On the positive side of things, I have exercised twice this week, and I have journaled my food every day. That’s progress and a good thing. I still have to work in three meals in the evening this week that are not carbo loads. I think I can do that. We’ll see.

Thanks for the prayers on my behalf. Change is possible, right?

graphic: ictscorp.com