Family Court


Warning: This one runs close to my heart, so if you’re already hurting from the consequences of divorce you might want to stop here and move on.

My  niece is in family court this morning, 10am.  If you are possessive of a spiritual mind, please send up a few prayers for her.

While I love to watch courtroom dramas unfold on the news and reality shows, I’m not so partial to them in my personal life.

I wish there never, ever had to be a family court session held again in this land.

I wish parents could solve these things between themselves.

I know that’s Polly Anna thinking, but I wish it were not.

Two teens, one female and the other all boy, are going to have their fate decided for them by a stranger today. They will sit, victims to the system, familial manipulations, teen emotions, and the norms of a society gone crazy, and have their future destinies decided for them.  Yes, they will get to speak about what they want, but at 13 and 15 what do they know about how life works?  That’s the point, right. Why they will have these things decided for them.  They will be told where to live, who to follow, what is important via the mandates of a stranger today.

I am a child of divorce.

I know families can’t always stay together, and I know some families that definitely needed to part ways, but the kids…

The kids…

I know. I was one!

Today is a sad day for me.  For them. For their parents.  For us all.

I just want everyone to get along. Is that too much to ask?

Have you ever had to fight in court to retain your rights?  Does divorce make you sad?





4 thoughts on “Family Court

  1. My marriage of 11 years is definitely one that needs to part ways. From the start he cheated, was abusive but also showed me the most love and I care in the world. The good days were so great that they would mask the severe issues we had. I came into the marriage with 3 kids. The 2 oldest from 1 dad and my youngest from another. From day one, my husband treated them like his own, legally adopted my son who at the time was only 2 months old and when the father of my 2 oldest disappeared he stepped right in and became their dad taking on full responsibility. 3 1/2 years ago everything started to change. We were no longer doing things as a family only for our once a year ski trip, he started pulling away in all aspects of our life. I found out he was having an emotional online affair with a married woman closer to his age than I am. I tried my best not to nag at him about it but instead talk but he was unwilling. So, I became more front and center as a mom but more so as a wife, trying to “win him back “. He ended up filing for divorce but had it held up for 2 years. Last year I thought we reached a turning point, everything seemed perfect and he was “back” or so I thought. Then without notice,he called me while on his way to work saying he’s not coming back and going forward with the divorce . He became so nasty, saying the most hurtful things anyone could say, completely ignored the kids, didnt attend our oldest daughters senior graduation which really hurt her beyond words. The man who was her only father completely didn’t care enough to show up. Then he returned home only to fight, telling me to get the “f” out of his house and life and take “my ” kids with him. Then last month he “had a change of heart” started to come back…then would leave again in an awful abusive way. I just wanted it to end but at the divorce hearing we both were frozen, couldn’t throw it all away so we both agreed to cancel it. Here we are, 2 weeks living back together and nothing has changed. He still has his gf who ge refuses to give up, even though he told me it was over. Every night he tries to gaslight me then is so loving in the morning. Last night, it got really ugly within kids hearing range and I was locked out of our room. Sleeping in the living room so the kids saw and thought “here we go again”. I depend on him 100% and he knows it. He’s now trying to kick me and the kids out of “his home” and says if I don’t leave willingly, he’ll say Ive stolen from him and have me arrested and he’ll get really nasty making sure I get left with nothing.
    I feel so lost and scared right now. I have not one cent in my name. How do other stay at home moms get themselves and attorney?

    • I’m so sorry for your pain! I would whisk it away, if I could. One thing I know, when it comes to the division of a family, I would spend every dime I have and borrow from every friend to be able to afford an attorney to represent me in court. If you take the steps necessary to divorce, remember that your future and the future of your children depend on your being smart, savvy, and safe. Do that, and you will be alright.

      I am not a lawyer, nor am I offering legal advice, but counseling is a must in my opinion, especially when any abuse is involved. I wish you the best of luck going forward. Keep looking up and take care of you!

  2. I’ve seen some very messy divorces. I made up the questionable saying, “Never be with anyone that would be hard to break up with.” Seriously, decent people are able to say goodbye without hate and being blind to the needs of their children. One of the biggest mistakes a parent can make is to constantly bash the other parent whether divorced or not. Children eventually grow up and always remember that with regret. Be kind about the person you once loved for the sake of the people you do love, if for no other reason. .

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