I need a Joy Loan!

000great-joy-quotes-7Recently, I was introduced to Marie Kondo’s method for bringing joy into life by sending “stuff” out the door.  Kondo suggests that when you clean and de-clutter, you ask yourself this simple question with every item you touch: Does this bring me joy?  If whatever you are holding in your hand when you ask the question does not bring you joy, you throw it to the side and begin creating a pile of “stuff” that can be donated to Good Will or The Salvation Army, or some other worthy organization after your purge.

I tried Marie Kondo’s method recently, and I have to say this gal is onto something!  Following Kondo’s suggestion, I filled two plastic bags with gently used items, including one never-been-worn-red-killer sweater. Once I was done sorting my clothes, I quickly sent them to the Salvation Army for recycling.

It felt good to get all that stuff out of my dresser and closet, and into someone else’s hands.

It brought me JOY!

This coming weekend I’m hosting an event that is making me anxious.  I’m always anxious to one degree or another whenever I’m in any way asked to play the hostess, but this is an all-family event that depends on the weather for success, along with the mingling of several families, the planning of some entertainment for the kiddos, and coordinating food dishes and grilling options for the chow.

This shindig has many moving parts, so my anxiety levels are rising with each passing day.

Usually my habit for dealing with stress brought on by this kinda project would be to micro-manage the heck out of it, pulling other “willing participants” into the crazy, self-imposed vortex of darkness and gloom that would eventually brighten and become our family picnic.  Sounds like fun right? Something you’d want to get involved in, right?

Wrong! 

In fact, hubs has been threatening for weeks now to leave early on picnic day and go fishing until after everyone has gone home. No chance of that. I intend to hide his truck keys the night before so he can’t slip away unnoticed.  I might also have to hide all of his shoes. Then again, Huck Finn went fishing without shoes, so maybe I need to re-think that part of the plan.

Anyway, this morning the question of whether or not this event and the way I was going about it brought me joy popped into my head.  The quick and definite answer was, no. Emphatically, No!  Something needs to change for me to get from hesitant (my current state of being surrounding this event), to joy.

As of this posting I have not figured out what that “something” might be, but I think I’m on the right path.  Maybe you have an idea??  If so, please say so in the comments below.

Right now, I’m looking for a JOY-loan. Can you help me out?

What makes your family events and all the details that go into organizing them joyful?  Are you ever hesitant when it comes to hosting events at your house?

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12 thoughts on “I need a Joy Loan!

  1. HI, thanks for stopping by my blog and liking my post on cats and dogs and cliches. Sadly, I think joy is one of those things you need to generate for yourself. You seem to have a nice sense of humor in your writing. There is usually an element of joy in that. I think looking forward to the lovely folks coming over this weekend and enjoying them might become some kind of joy generator …?

    • Positive projection might just be the thing I need to make walking into this event more relaxing. Thanks!

      One thing I know for sure, others don’t see me the way I see me.
      My niece likes to tell this story of a time when she did what Aunt Lori would do…she licked a piece of chicken on a serving platter, so that she got the smaller piece instead of her friend, who was her guest. Silly girl! She remembers her aunt as irreverently fun and kind to others. I love that!!!!

  2. On the topic of joy, I thought you might enjoy a chapter from this book I have called, The Book of Qualities by J Ruth Gendler. It’s a wonderful book. She’s a psychologist and artist. The book describes 99 qualities..this is her personification of Joy.

    Joy drinks pure water. She has sat with the dying and attended many births.
    She denies nothing. She is in love with life, all of it, the sun and the rain and
    the rainbow. She rides horses at Half Moon Bay under the October moon. She
    climbs mountains. She sings in the hills. She jumps from the hot spring to the
    cold stream without hesitation.
    Although Joy is spontaneous, she is immensely patient. She does not need to
    rush. She knows that there are obstacles on every path and that every moment is
    the perfect moment. She is not concerned with success or failure or how to make
    things permanent.
    At times Joy is elusive—she seems to disappear even as we approach her. I
    see her standing on a ridge covered with oak trees, and suddenly the distance
    between us seems enormous. I am overwhelmed and wonder if the effort to reach
    her is worth it. Yet , she waits for us. Her desire to walk with us is as great
    as our longing to accompany her.

  3. Set your mind on the people who you are really excited to see and talk to. I have agoraphobia and when I have to do something, I imagine seeing a couple of people I truly enjoy spending time with. Sometimes it might even be just one person….but it makes me look forward to the time.

    • Great suggestion!!! Visualization has been an important tool for shaping my attitude in the past. Why wouldn’t it work again. Thanks for stopping by and lending me a lil joy!

    • You’re right, Pamela, and your comment has helped me realize that what we remember about family gatherings, unless they go horribly wrong, is the good stuff, the fun things said and done, and those wonderful stories we will share with our kids for years to come. I hope this weekend produces those kind of memories for us all. May I be the impetus for joy for others this weekend! Thanks for this!

  4. I love my family, but the years of stress (as a child growing up) have taken their toll. We have very diversified interests and lifestyles. Our source of commonality is knowing we’re here for each other regardless of our philosophies on life. I would love to offer a joy loan (or better yet, a joy grant,) but it seems I share your concerns and emotional responses when it comes to family get togethers.

    • I’m sorry we have this family thing in common, but I don’t think we are alone in that.

      A joy grant–what a great idea. 🙂

      The good news: You have provided joy in many ways to many people, including me.
      I think you’re a fun guy who takes healing seriously. I’m glad to know you and have you stop by to comment on my blog any time!!!

      • Thank you Lori. I do take health seriously, but, being a believer in BALANCE, recognize the importance of a sense of humor as well! Your posts are filled with great wit and humor which bring my personality down a notch when it becomes UNBALANCED! Thank you for your effort as well to share ideas how people can better themselves.

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