A Bad Night-A Good God!

I know not everyone believes in a creator God who watches over the inhabitants of the earth, but I do.

I’ve been frustrated lately and this morning found me ready to surrender my will, if only for the shortest period of time.  I was ready…to hear, to learn, to see, and to change today.

I woke up at 4am this morning and could not get back to sleep. I was fretting. Fretting about something I shared in a vulnerable moment yesterday.  Something that colored an others opinion of me. Something I had not shared before.  I hate that!

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I hate that I fret.

I hate that I’m sometimes vulnerable.

I hate not being able to be authentic without feeling violated.

I hate being awake at 4am when I have to get up for the day at 6am!!!

This week has been stressful. I’ve been busy, and just come off a weekend with the wee ones, which is especially taxing when we are north of NEPA and sleeping on couches for two nights.  I should have taken Monday off.  I wasn’t needed up north, as expected though, so I decided to do what I could to see that everything went off smoothly for a party we had at work Monday.  It did, but it cost me.

All this to say that when I prayed and meditated this morning, God showed up in a powerful way.  It was as if He knew exactly what I needed to hear, and as if the words written by Oswald Chambers and the author of the devotional over at The Seeds 4 Life were written with me in mind.  I’m grateful.  I encourage you to check out both offerings today.  You’ll find Oswald’s words in My Utmost for His Highest on June 15th and The Seeds 4 Life devotional here.   Enjoy!

I hope you all slept soundly through the night last night.  I hope I can catch up on my sleep tonight.  I have another big family gathering on July 2nd. Between now and then I need to fortify myself so that I can be ready.

Thanks for leaving some encouragement in the comments section below.

What will you do over the 4th of July weekend?  When was the last time you woke up at night fretting over something you’d said, done, or seen?

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4 thoughts on “A Bad Night-A Good God!

  1. We all have vulnerabilities. Intent and clarity in communication are the two factors I focus on to prevent agitation and self retribution. People do not have to agree with me; they simply need to understand where I come from and recognize my intent is PURE and HONEST. If the response is anger or some other negative emotion, I leave this problem on their doorstep for them to handle in a time frame or their choosing.

    • I hear you, but internalizing the concept that their negativity is their problem is hard for this farm girl. I wish it were easier. And to have my unconscious moments disturbed by this stuff, ugh, I hate it. Thank you for affirming me with your comments. It helps to understand that we are all vulnerable at times. I hate that feeling, though. Hate it!!!

  2. Paula says:

    I have a 4 mile run on the 4th other than that we will just have a quiet weekend. Fret? Worry? I do that quite a bit. I worry about all kind of stuff. I am learning that I must hand it over to God. He does not let me down.

    • A 4 mile run on the 4th-what a great idea! Good luck with that. I hope you OWN the finish line, Paula!

      My grandmother was a champion worrier, so its in my genes. Usually, I can control it with prayer and other behavioral modifications, but when I’m attacked while asleep there are no defenses available to put in place. Ugh, I hate waking up worried!!!

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