Changing What You Can


Recently, I’ve been challenged by a personal relationship that has shifted sideways.  In my mind, a friendship has fallen apart.  Will something better fall into place, now that this friendship has shifted positions? I don’t know the answer to that question.  What I do know, or what I sense, is that what used to be a meeting of the minds and a joint effort has changed to something I don’t recognize.

I will admit that the altered state of affairs between me and this other is disconcerting, and a distraction I am having a hard time putting out of my mind.

I want to trust that the shift is for my benefit, and in some ways I believe that is true, but change is always challenging.

Even when it’s good change.

Even when it’s healthy change.

Even when it is an absolutely necessary change!

Habits are hard to break, which is why I love and hate them so much.  I love habitual behavior when it serves me. I hate it when it plagues me.

Here’s the thing:  I’m powerless to change habits others have adopted.  I can only change myself.

That is where my hope lies today, in changing me. 

Some day soon I will stop trying to figure out what makes others tick.  Right now, I’m doing this at about 85% of capacity.  I’m hoping to ramp up that percentage soon, as I can put this problem in my rear view mirror.

I can’t make others change their mind about me. 

I can change me!

What problems are you facing right now that have the power to change you in the future?  Who do you want to be tomorrow, and why?




2 thoughts on “Changing What You Can

  1. Welcome to the world of CARING. Those who wish to grow and develop over a lifetime have the opportunity to achieve new levels in life. Sometimes friends and families that don’t pursue these avenues in life are resentful because they would like the benefits without implementing the efforts needed. This can lead to tension. Learning to be true to yourself without creating barriers and isolating oneself requires a learning process (which I currently continue to learn and develop.) Focus on being true to yourself while remaining open to dialogue from friends/family that may have issues. In time, as people become more comfortable with themselves, they are more open to honest communication. Good luck.

    • I have considered that jealousy might be one emotion that is driving this separation between my friend and me. While I continue to maintain my weight losses and steadily get healthier, she is gaining weight, traveling a lot, and eating at greasy spoons, a lot! That’s okay for her, if that is the life she wants, but I do not want that for myself.

      I continue on as a student of that philosophy known as “being true to yourself”. While I wish I didn’t have to lose friends along the way, I would not give up the advances I have made thus far to keep those friends.

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