Recently, I hit upon an interesting website that posed the following questions:
What do you habitually love?
What do you habitually long for?
What are you habitually loyal to?
For what do you habitually labor?
What are the liturgies in your life?
I blogged about the first of these questions earlier (read about that here). Today I want to attempt to answer question No. 2.
What do I habitually long for?
The first thing that occurred to me when I contemplated that question, and I’m not happy about this, is external validation. I hate it that external validation appears on my list at all, let alone at the top of it. Still, I have to admit that I spend a lot of energy trying to be what I perceive as acceptable to others. I imagine everyone does this to one extent or another–at least I hope they do,we all wanna be liked, right?–the problem with me is that I spend too much time worrying about what others think about what I’m doing.
Being honest, I have to say that external validation matters to me more than it should and seeking the approval of others has become a nasty habit for me.
Items two and three on my list (equally consternating to me): Friends and Sugar. Ugh, really?! Honestly, these two cause me to veer off course more often than I like. Hence, their place on my personal list of things I long for–friends and sugary substances.
What other things might I be longing for in such a way that they have become repetitive for me? The list is long, but I’m going to try to whittle my response here down to eating, food choices, my attitudes about weight, and my dreams of wellness.
With regards to these I long for…
An iron will.
A tempered drive to succeed. Tempered so I push myself without knocking over others.
I long for stability, civility, and the ability to recall strategies that worked for me in the past.
I long to know where I zigged, when I should have zagged.
I long for a bigger heart, a keener wit, and a stronger sense of permanence.
Many days I long for a do-over!
I believe in the power of habit.
I believe in the strength of convictions lived out routinely.
I believe repetition is power.
I believe what I do again and again defines me.
I’m meeting with a trusted friend tomorrow to discuss some of this and get her perspective. In the meantime, I have a lot to chew on (pun intended). You know I love to chew!
Here’s the thing: Once a habit is firmly established, I know it goes to work affecting my life in unconscious ways. That being the case, it is imperative that I long for the right things, plan for the right things, and act in the right ways, again and again, in order to achieve the right results–those I long for. Working on that…
What good habits have you established in your life? What drives you to succeed?