The past is but the beginning of a beginning.  -HG Wells

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Three Goals Thursday Update

Over the weekend I made egg muffins without any grain in them.  This was one of my goals for this week, and I have done it.  I ate one of these mini omelets with a green salad for lunch today.  Breakfast was baked oatmeal with walnuts and blueberries, with a splash of milk on the side. One goal down!

I also worked on food planning and prep on Friday of last week and again on Sunday.  I have spent 35 minutes planning my food for this week so far.  I have another 25 to log. It wasn’t so awful hard, I just make it that way in my mind.

My third goal for this week is to walk with a friend tomorrow, after work, and to do one other exercise that makes me sweat.  I have been riding the bike, but I don’t sweat all that much when I do that. Maybe dancing would do it.  I’m also excited about the chance to borrow a bike and ride at a nearby park.  My SIL says the park loans bikes to visitors to the park. We’ll see how that turns out.  I don’t have a helmet, but she says they are provided too, along with wet wipes to rub them down before using them. I’m not sure I can do that–germ freak here–but I’ll let ya know how it goes.

I still have to make a morning shake one day this week, so best get to that.

The morning egg muffin was good, even though I ate it at lunch. I felt full and satisfied. Oh, and I had 4 cherries for part of my lunch plan.  All very good for me.

Tonight’s dinner is salmon with a spicy rub and green salad.  I’m not a fish girl. We do beef in NEPA, but I’m feeling adventurous these days and the salmon was on sale. I’ll let ya know how it goes…

Old Wounds Dealt With

000woundsI will not get so bogged down in dealing with old wounds that I forget about new growth.   –Courage to Change

I read this quote over the weekend and could not stop thinking about it.

I’ve allowed myself to get bogged down lately, dealing with the wounds I inflicted on myself during my years of food abuse.  I’ve been fixating on the scars those wounds have left on my body and my soul.  I’ve been tired.  I’ve been frustrated.  I’ve been wondering how to escape the funk, without losing my mind.  Today, I feel better and have been reminded of the source of my sanity–my God.

God found me when I was without passion, without parent, without plan, and without partner.  Since that time I have found all these and more.

God is the face of hope for me.

I try not to share too much about my faith here, because this is the place where I share about my fat, and while that involves my faith, it also involves my fellows, my food, my failings, and those changes to “the plan” I make over time.

That’s a lot to write about.

Sometimes I think its grit alone that keeps me moving forward, but it’s not.

Other times I think it’s habit, but it’s not.

What keeps me encouraged on the tough days is faith, hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love.

I believe with all my heart that God can restore what the locust have eaten, which is why I keep hoping, keep striving, and keep chasing the kind of change that matters most to me–that change that will eventually make me a different person.

What one change have you made that made all the difference in your life? 

Telling the Truth

000to tell the truthI won’t lie, sometimes this weight loss journey I’m on frustrates me.

Some days its tedious.

Some days I get depressed with my slow progress.

I know I need to step it up.

I know I need to do better.

I know I need to journal, count calories, eat less carbs, be more attentive to exercise, push myself a lil harder.

I know all that, and I do some of it some of the time, but I am not a machine.

Is it okay to say that?

I’m not a machine.

Is this diet fatigue I’m feeling, or just a need to get away?

What I know is that I’m a human woman.

I work full-time.

I have projects to attend to outside of work, too.

I have people depending on me.

I have deadlines and relationships, and cooking, baking, cleaning, and shopping to do.

I have weight to lose. I carry it around all day every day and I’m tired of it!

I’m in a chair, on my bum, five days a week from 8am to 4pm. Not many calories being burned during those hours. I do get up and walk around, sometimes I even take an exercise break, but basically the work I do ties me to a chair.

It is what it is, for now.

While I’m whining, can I say that the aging process is no fun.

It’s not.

Today, I’m tired, and I’m frustrated and I got out of bed on the wrong side, and toyed with not getting up at all.

Seriously, I did!

But then, I got up.

I got dressed.

I got in the car and made the commute I make every week day.

I’m at the desk.

I’m upright.

I’m here, but I’m also far away from here.

I think I’m ready for vacation.

Truth be told, I was ready weeks ago!!!

Just being honest…

Where will you go for vacation this year? Are you ready now?

Three Goals Update

000food_combining_chartSo, last night, at the eleventh hour, I got that food chart on the wall.  No, it was not this chart, but rather the chart my friend gave me…one she used when losing her excess baggage.

I did it. I did it!

Yay!

One more brick in my win scenarios wall.

Now, on to this week’s challenges…

1.  Making morning egg muffins and shakes to carry to work.

2.  Spending 1 hour on food planning and prepping.

3.  My plan to walk with a friend on Tuesday evening, and do one other exercise I’m not currently doing that makes me sweat.

Remember: My goal is to finish these goals before Thursday of next week, July 2nd.  Think I can do it?

Say a prayer. Whee, here I go!

Three Goals Thursday!

Last week I began a new series of posts titled: Three Goals Thursday. 

Every Thursday I intend to post three personal goals to reach for before the next Thursday rolls around.  This past week I posted three goals that you can read about here.

I succeeded in reaching all three goals last week (which are intentionally tiny, by the way), and I’m psyched about that.  Yay!!

My goal in setting tiny and easily achievable goals is to build a cache of win scenarios, thereby developing confidence and habits that will unconsciously aid me in the future.

Habits drive behavior!!

I wholeheartedly believe that habits drive behavior, which is why I want to establish some good ones that will serve me, instead of me being a slave to them.  I hope you’ll stop by every Thursday to see what I’m up to and how the project is progressing.  I will be reporting on my success as I go through the week and meet each goal.

Here are this Thursday’s goals:

1.  I will experiment with morning egg muffins (no grain in them, just veggies and meat), and will use my bullet at least once to make a morning shake. I’m hoping to build a habit of eating breakfast foods that do not include bagels.  :/

2.  I will spend 1 hour food planning and prepping.  I will allow the planning to be spread over multiple days, if necessary to get me started on a positive note.  I will attempt to view this time as my special time of self-care, when I get to be as creative as I want.  I so want to learn to love this prep time, instead of hate it.

3.  I will walk with a friend on Tuesday evening next week, and try to do something else that makes me sweat one other night of the week.

I’m thinking I need to find some non-food ways to reward myself when I do things I don’t enjoy doing, like walking when it is wayyyy to humid for this frizzy-haired girl to be walking.

What do you do to reward yourself for goals achieved, that is not food-related?  What is your favorite breakfast food?

000blog anniversaryToday is the third anniversary of this blog. Woohoo!

I have learned so much in the time that I have been doing this.

So. Much.

Thank you, all, for any part you are playing and have played in my recovery and efforts to get well and stay well one day at a time.  Your “likes” “follows” and “comments” have meant more to me than you will ever know.

The information you have provided to me: Priceless.

The consideration you have given me while sharing your experience, strength, and hope with me has kept me going on this journey to health and wellness.

Any success I have had is due, in part, to you.  Your gift is my joy.

YOU ROCK–there’s just no other way to say it!

Thank you, Thank you, a million times Thank YOU!