Yesterday, I wrote about the sale our church is sponsoring the first week of May and it got me thinking about what I need to thin out in my life in order to continue recovering from food addiction. Things are going well for me right now. I’ve finally broken through the plateau that has kept me stagnant for nearly eighteen months. I almost hate to write that last bit of news, because I’m tempted to think that if I put this bit of good news in writing it will all disappear. Silly, superstitious brain! You’re not in control of me. Stop suggesting such things.
Stepping away from my inner talk for a minute, I wanted to share with you some of the attitudes, behaviors, habits and rationalizations that I’ll be tossing this spring in order to make room for recovery:
1. Foggy Thinking. Foggy thinking is a habit that often trips me up. It occurs when I forget to plan, or worse yet, refuse to plan because I am: lazy, wallowing, denying, resisting, self-sabotaging, or being lazy. See how I listed laziness twice. Not a mistake, I assure you. This spring, I’m dealing with foggy thinking by working with a friend to create a plan, report on that plan, and confront my resistance to the plan. Its the only way I know to keep a lazy cheater (me), focused and on task. Planning helps to dissipate the fog bubble I get caught in when I don’t look ahead.
2. A Hard Heart. Rebellion and defiance are attitudes I’ve courted too often in the past. Who did I think I was kidding when I allowed a defiant attitude to sneak into the attic of my head and squat there? When I defy the truth, I self-deceive and that makes me angry. Spring is a great time to come clean with myself. Me and me, we need to work together to get this thing done. Enough rebellion–just do what you know you need to do, Lori, and stop telling yourself you don’t need to do it.
3. Bad Choices that “feel” Good: Double Portions–Too Many Deserts–Too Much TV. Not everyone struggles with behavior problems, but most over eaters do. This spring, I’m dealing with three of my worst. The biggest offender and the one that needs my undivided attention is my propensity to watch too much television. I have to act in a purposeful way to limit my TV viewing as spring comes calling. It feels good to get off the couch and outside, so I need to think about that feeling often and draw on it for inspiration.
4. Insane Bargaining Skills. I can rationalize to oblivion given enough time to think and enough reasons to avoid doing what I ought to do. Let’s face it, we over eaters get really good at rationalization over the course of our gaining years. It’s time to get real and be truthful with myself. This final problem is a sneaky one, a shady character, so I have to stay vigilant looking for it in myself. Writing helps me to see rationalizations more clearly, so I’m working on my journaling skills these days.
What do you need to move out of the attic of your mind in order to get better? What one thing is currently spelling success for you in your efforts to lose weight and get healthy?