The alarm clock reminds me its time to get up. Time to get ready. Time to clean and dress, and get out the door. I have an appointment at 8am. I don’t want to go and do this thing, but feel it is the right move for me at this time, so I get out of bed on this weekend morning and begin my usual rituals.
I leave the drive way headed for my appointment. I have other things on my mind. An offer to buy a used computer. I will decline the offer. The big birthday party for Beanie next weekend. I need to order a cake. He wants an owl theme. Laundry in the back seat that needs to be done. 10K and 5K races that might be going on today. Breakfast. A friend who wanted to meet up and talk. The lesson I need to get together for tomorrow. The kayak we want to buy. Annie Dillard and The Maytrees audio book I’m listening to. So much to think about. So much to do on this sunny morning.
Check in at imaging center. Will a contrast dye be part of this morning’s procedure? “No, not with lower back scans.” A pleasant surprise–a treat–I am handed a pair of pants to put on (my jeans have a zipper that is not allowed in the machine). I hesitate.
Will they fit?
Will they go up over my hips?
Will the tops of the legs be too tight? Am I about to be embarrassed?
Will the waist band, stretchy as it is, be uncomfortably tight?
I worry. These things would have been problems in the past. Will they be this morning.
Elation! The pants fit with room to spare. This may seem like small potatoes to others. To me, a miracle. A promise fulfilled. A turning. A reward that encourages continued attempts to eat right and exercise. A blessing. The pants fit. They fit and are loose. I don’t have to ask for a larger size or reveal the once obvious–that they are too small. They are NOT too small. Hallelujah! This makes it all worth while.
“Let’s begin. Headphones to help with the clang, clang, clang of the equipment as images are snapped. Am I claustrophobic? Here is a ball, hold it, use it if you need to get my attention during the procedure. What kind of music would you like to listen to during? Soft Rock? Pop? Country?”
I choose country.
Never choose country music to listen to while having an MRI.
Country music has too much sway–too much temptation to wiggle. I struggle to stay still. Stillness is essential this morning. Must not move. I struggle. The music makes it hard to focus on God. Hard to think of anything but moving my body, which I must not do. No moving. No swaying. No dancing in this tiny, restrictive tube. No moving. Impossible. I wiggle my toes. I try to relax. I try to stay very still. I want this to be over. I’m doing well. The technician says so. But dang, it is hard.
“10 or 15 more minutes to go. Images look good so far. stay still like you are. We should be done soon.”
MRI is done. I’m relieved. Will have test results next week. Then I will know what I’m dealing with and how much and what type of exercise I can do at the gym. “Of course if I see anything not already expected, I report that and we send you to ER.” I won’t be going to ER today. I have not be reported.
Anxious to get started with some weight lifting again. Trying to work on weight reduction. Still plateaued. Still working on changing those things I can. Results up to God, but foot work is mine to do. I could do better. Whole grain bagel, toasted, with butter and iced coffee for breakfast today. Now to get the laundry done. Then study, after notifying laptop girl that I’ve decided to pass on purchase of used equipment. Hopefully, I will get a walk in this afternoon.
Enjoy your MRI free weekend,and keep looking up!