Why?

Why can’t I do it?

Why can’t I get momentum going again?

Why am I stuck on this blasted plateau, again?!

Why can’t I quit the habits that have me craving sweets?

 Why can’t I find a way to eat sensibly before others, as well as when I’m alone?

Why am I never happy with the success I do achieve?

Why do I want more?

These are the questions that circle around in my head on the days when my mood and my food are in the dumper.

Like today.

Actually this whole week has been a challenge.  I’m not sure why, except that I have just come off a month of insane activity wherein I was juggling three projects at the same time, and doing lots of promotion for each one of them, in addition to helping with signage, play programs, and actual service work at one of the events.  I work full-time too, but ya know what?  Everyone is busy.

Let me say that again–EVERYONE is busy!

So that’s not an excuse, just an explanation.  My mood affects my food–it’s just how it is–and I’m trying to learn how to cope with it and be more effective in my efforts for me.

I love helping others, but…

…I hate feeling this way!

My weight has not gone up.  My weight has not gone down. I am still doing the same things I have been doing to stay steady with my recovery from food obsession, but lately I have felt like I whine more than I progress.

And now its time to shut ‘er down.

I will be observing a 5K this weekend, and helping with clean-up for another in two weeks.  I still hope to organize my own this summer, or in the fall, but until then I am trying to learn as much as I can about the process that goes into a race/fund raiser.  If you have any insight, do tell.

I went to the orthoped’s office this week and had my devices adjusted.  I’m hoping to get out and try them on the track soon. Also hoping to do some biking to see how that works with my back, and looking to plan a summer vacation. I’m so ready!

Do you ever allow your mood to affect your food choices?  How do you balance helping others with taking care of you?

 

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2 thoughts on “Why?

  1. You have asked a question that so many of us ask ourselves and like you we have no answer that allow us to change the outcome. I can’t imagine ever running a 5K, but I keep participating in distance walking. Who knows some day I might job/run part of one. Like you we don’t know why, but we keep coming back and plugging our way forward.

    • You are so right, we must keep pluggin’
      I love that the habits I am making with food carry me through the moods.
      We all have them–well, at least all us women have them–foody moods, I call them.
      The good news: they don’t have to run my life. Not anymore.
      I am feeling better today, mainly because I have taken action, prayed, meditated about the changes I need to make, and I am making them. But the old reliable habits that work–yeah, I’m keepin’ them.
      So glad to be past the moody blues today. Yay, onward we go!

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