Day 8 October Unprocessed

Okay, so today is Day 8 of October Unprocessed, and take-out won a half victory.

I stopped.

I bought.

I ate, but only part of what I’d bought.

I did it.  Me.  I can admit it.  I’m a big girl, and responsible for my actions.  I was weak today.  I wanted an easier path.  I thought it would be easy to exchange currency for take-out and then nibble…taste…eat, but when I tried, I thought, “No, I can’t do this!”  I didn’t want to do it.  It was time again to deal with this bad habit, this behavior…

Once more, I had to quit the sabotage. 

This is the life of a compulsive overeater.  You get to stop and start and stop overeating over and over again until your miracle of abstinence sticks.  Its a hard process, it can be a long process, but its the only way I have ever found to address the compulsion in me.  Believe me, I have tried other ways–they just don’t work for me.  

This morning, I quit the take-out almost before it began. It was epic!

This is a victory for me. 

Eating those first compulsive bites of take-out this morning was like eating sawdust. I knew I shouldn’t. I knew I didn’t want to. I knew habitual ways of acting and behaving had taken me over.  I knew.  It took those first few bites to really know, KNOW, but I knew. And I’m glad.

Yep, glad.

I’m glad I bought take-out this morning, because with that breakfast wrap came another valuable lesson. Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels. 

Back to my regularly scheduled life, I go.  My “normal” home-made, whole, raw, nutritious and during October, unprocessed, life. The life that begets life. The life that makes me able to escape life with diabetes. The life that provides my miracle of recovery from food obsession.  That wonderful, healthy, sane, and stable life that’s worth the effort I put into it and rewards me accordingly.  That life!