Expectation’s Pop In the Face


One of the hardest things about losing weight, whether you have a lot to lose or a little to lose, I think, is dealing with people. This is true of other areas of life, too, but particularly true of the weight loss journey. Everyone has expectations concerning everyone else, and no one is able to meet every one of those expectations. Normally, I am able to process all those demands made on me and sort them according to importance. The ones that are valid and necessary I address. The others, I usually let fall by the wayside. I’m having a bit of trouble sorting them out recently.

People don’t mean to be unrealistic, it just happens, but when it does, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the face and that the whole world can tell how horrible I feel because of my two black eyes.

The second hardest thing about dealing with weight loss, at least in my world, is the emotional toll it takes on me sometimes. I guess its true that these two tough aspects of weight loss go hand-in-hand: the people component and the emotional component. When people ask more of me than I am able to give, or want me to act in ways that are not “me,” it causes me stress. When I am stressed in this way, my reaction is most apt to be that I want to quickly move away from the stressors and return my world to a happy normal.

Of course, when one is losing weight, happy “normal” is constantly changing, both emotionally and externally, as in body image.

Lately, I’ve been “feeling” like I’ve let some people down. I hate that feeling. Mind you, I don’t know I have let them down, because no one has come to me and told me, “Gee, L, why did you have to do that? or Gee, L, why can’t you (you fill in the blank) for me?” Or my all time favorite: “I sure would like it better if you were  (again, fill in the blank).”

No, they don’t really say these things, and maybe they don’t even think them, but I perceive them as thinking and feeling this way.  I “think” I have these thoughts because my brain is scrambling to adjust to dietary changes I am making–changes my body has not had to deal with in a long, long time, if ever.

Emotions: they are affected when we change our diet.

Body Image: it is affected when we change our diet.

Struggles: they pop up, and we have to find a way to deal with them without overeating.

So what do I do about the emotional roller coaster that is the weight loss process? What do I do about expectations and emotional responses to them?  What do I do about hair that is again falling out, because again I have made drastic changes to the way I’m eating?

What do I do to keep my head above water and keep working to lose the weight, regardless of what is going on around me?

I pray.

I write.

I talk to trusted friends.

I try to get to bed early.

I try to eat cleaner.

I try to remember that it’s not “on me” to make others happy.

I try to get some fresh air.

I try to be more gentle with myself.

I try to not project, or analyze, or criticize everything said to me.

I try to turn down the volume on sadness.

I try to remember that food is fuel, God is love, and change is possible.

Today, I’m doing all these things.  Just sayin’…


3 thoughts on “Expectation’s Pop In the Face

  1. I realize this is a tough time for you! I need to say that unless you have lost a lot of weight or have really cut your intake back, the hair loss lost likely has nothing to do with your diet. Your reaction to the stress is the most likely cause. Perhaps a therapist would be helpful to you.

    • It is a tough time right now, and I’m someone who tends not to notice the stressors until I’m under a pile of them. I just don’t feel the stress physically, like some people do, so it sneaks up on me. I think I may have jumped the gun on the hair thing this time. Maybe. It seems better today, so….

      I have cut back on the calories a lot with the elimination of wheat from my diet. Can’t believe how many calories are cut simply by doing that alone.

      I know exercise helps with the stress, too. I’m hoping to get that settled soon. This week I talked to a few friends whose opinions I trust. That helped a lot. Then I wrote. That always helps. Your feedback is helpful too. You’re a straight shooter, and I like that. Have a great weekend!

  2. I lost hair when I lost weight and my doctor said it was likely due to the weight loss and the stress it put on my body. I don’t know if he was right. Once my weight stabilized it stopped happening.

    Sorry that you are feeling stressed. Emotions play a huge role in weight loss/maintenance, as you well know.

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