I Think, therefore I drive myself crazy

What is possible in this life? What is permanent?

What is able to be changed, and what will forever remain the same?

Is there anything we can do to improve our lot in life, or does fate have a hold on us, so that we cannot move away from harmful behaviors, to find freedom?

The_Thinker_Musee_Rodin

What about food? Can our eating habits, when changed, change us?

I believe they can and do, so why am I having so much trouble with food this week?

These are the questions that dance, prance, and stomp through the wilderness that is my mind.

I think too much about food, I know that.  I think too much, in general.  All this thinking “gets to me” sometimes, I will admit, but I have not found a way of escape from the thinking habits I have developed over the years.  Nor do I know if I will ever be free of them.

I think about things, and then I write what I think about.

I get solutions from thinking sometimes, but not all the time.  I put ideas “out there”, and people respond, but not all the time.  I grow as they share, and we all together help one another to recover, which is good.  I think the process is helping them, anyway.  I know it’s helping me.  I’m slowly learning to be free of food thoughts.  Or rather, I’m slowly learning to LET go of food thoughts.  I see the work yielding good results.

I still think, I think too much about food.

Will this habit ever go away?

I don’t want to think about food as much as I do.

I don’t want to have to handle the topic of food as often as I do.

I don’t want food to be the major companion that I travel with all my days, but neither do I know when or how we will part ways.  For now, I have to be content to keep doing what I’m doing and count the results as blessings in my life.

Today, my food wasn’t perfect, but then, neither am I perfect.  This is about progress, not perfection.

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2 thoughts on “I Think, therefore I drive myself crazy

  1. I think about food more than someone who has never struggled with their weight – at least I assume I do. In some ways it is a positive for me because it was when I didn’t think about it that I ate whatever I wanted. Now thinking is a way to analyze, avoid mistakes, and fix it when I do make mistakes.

    • You’re so right, Diane. It is true for me too, that when I don’t think about food or what I’m eating, I eat terribly. I just hate it that food has such power over me some days. L

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