Bed Buddies, No More

When food is no longer your friend, what do you do? Do you still hang out together? Do you still meet each other at the mall? Do you still hit all the county fairs together, go to the movies together on the weekends, or share the holidays? Are you still BED BUDDIES? Do you still pine for one another’s company, to the exclusion of human beings, or do you finally muster the courage to say good-bye, cut the tie that binds (or bound) and move on?

I’ve had a few ugly break-ups in my day. I’ve had some geographical disturbances that caused the death of friendships.  I’ve also had a few relationships that fizzled out and eventually died where no one was at fault. You know, the kind of natural breaks I’m talking about, where people who once worked, schooled, or exercised together have moved on to other jobs, college, or gyms across town. SOME OF THOSE PARTINGS WERE SAD, but a lot of them were predictable. People grow and change, and one day you find that you just don’t have the same connection with that other person you once enjoyed. It happens. It’s a part of life. You move on, but hopefully with some fond memories that stay with you for the rest of your life.

Even when the break up is bad, I try to remember the good times I’ve had with my ex’s–for there were good times, too.  As I’m working through this parting though, leaving my best friend, food, behind, I’m finding it UNWISE TO GLANCE BACK or ponder the memories. The reason for this is that the defining factor in my relationship with food has always been dysfunction.  I ate because I was lonely, bored, angry, threatened, sad, happy, frightened, challenged…

In other words, I maintained a destructive relationship with food that was based first and foremost on emotion. That, and a deep-seated need to MASK TRUE FEELINGS and avoid life by hooking up with a friend my peers wouldn’t approve.  We met secretly many times, but other always knew.  All they had to do was look at me, it was written all over my body.

Like a meth head who’s fled the streets and is hold up in a rehab somewhere, I’ve TAKEN ACTION to rid myself of a junk food dependency, and I’m feeling good about that.  Can I stay clean and disconnected to the source of my sugar addiction?  I hope so.  I really want this friendship to end.  It may be painful, but it’s time.  I may miss my buddy, but I’ll be better off.

How do you find the courage to walk away from a relationship that just isn’t working for you anymore?  What advice do you give for beginning again?     

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